I wonder

Of course i still think of you and as my 30 days ends I wonder did you truly love yourself or did you secretly want me to provide the love you didn’t provide for yourself? Being in relationships teaches you soo much about yourself and it wasn’t no highschool fuck like bunnies relationship. Ya we had fun but we were talking about building credit and laying off student loans, cooking dinner together and exploring spirituality and aligning our chakras. Our relationship was not typical. And yea I still miss it because you have a beautiful spirit. Character wise I do have many flaws but damn I should have not gave up that easily.

I’m glad i finally took the time to process all those feelings tho. I pray you get your degree. I pray you are one of the greatest producers of our time. I pray your anger is still controlled and that no one ever fears you. I pray you are the best provider and lover to you kids and family. I pray you Dylan realizes he has the best big brother. I truly wish you the best in this life and hopefully one day we can sit and laugh about everything but the wound is still fresh